I was bouncing between:
1) rage I never knew I was capable of, and
2) numbness to overcome the overwhelming anxiety and helplessness caused by circumstances beyond my control.


It’s exhausting. I don’t recommend it. It’s not sustainable.

And then I chanced upon this quote by LGBTQ activist Dan Savage:
“During the darkest days of the AIDS crisis, we buried our friends in the morning, we protested in the afternoon and we danced all night. The dance kept us in the fight because it was the dance we were fighting for. It didn’t look like we were going to win then and we did. It doesn’t feel like we’re going to win now but we could. Keep fighting, keep dancing.”

KEEP DANCING.

So I try to “keep dancing” by finding joy in food created and shared through friends and community. The endless joy from seeing trees, flowers, and the beauty Mother Nature selflessly offered at our disposal. The healing joy of texting, talking, and laughing with friends and family. The calming joy of making and experiencing art. The joy in finding solace in reading, in learning something new to expand my understanding and perspectives. The joy of relief through expressing and writing.

These small, stubborn, fragile sparks of joy are the sustenance that keeps me present, to continue letting things matter, and to keep caring and showing up for others, even if it’s easier to succumb to the instinctive pull towards anger and dissociation, especially in this absurd reality and timeline.

Joy is what keeps me fighting—by refusing to submit and be silenced by the system manipulated to benefit the sociopathic and perverted money hoarders. Joy, in my opinion, is provision that nourishes my humanity from being hollowed out by constant outrage and quiet despair.

Choosing joy, choosing to keep on dancing is resistance. And continuing to fight for joy and dance is revolutionary.

Holddd up, after all these years, did I just understand what The Killers meant when they sang, “Are we human or are we dancer?”